Shroom Trip Report (McKennaii)

I had a dream today. Inside it, I was talking to a white man with curly hair, and taking shrooms. He invited me to join him to kill someone. Probably had something to do about True Detective – an HBO American series I recently watched.

Few days ago, I got my stuff, well sealed, vacuum packed. Took about 3-4 grams, I started watching some pics on Ehentai, because I was hoping it could do something sexually, at least up my horny mood a bit. But turned out, it makes these pics becoming more freak out. 30 minutes passed, it started to hits me. Those anime girls – their hair accessories – are becoming like eyes. I start to notice something I wouldn’t notice before. The world seems detailed, and everything is twisting. You ever watched those frame by frame AI generated video? Every frame from original video, each frame of it was regenerated by the AI, so it’s different each frame, but almost the same, something like that. I found myself starting to enjoy staring something, like people said, stoner.

I was masturbating. In the middle of it I had an orgasm-like experience, it wasn’t sexual but mental. It was spiritual orgasm, caused by Psilocin. When it comes, I saw some ripples, like water. This is something alike. And there was a great amount of joy coming.

Everything was interesting at the moment. I still am aware of surroundings, probably the dose wasn’t too heavy. I laughed because some funny moves I did, and some funny thoughts I was thinking. In fact I can laugh to anything at that moment.

I keep staring at the chatbox of Telegram, there was a nonlinear space in it. I look down to my feet, my blood vessels became more and more obvious, like it was in the surface of my skin. My mind going eight directions at once, expanding its territory. The visual stoped, but I couldn’t help myself stop thinking about things. There is no word than “brainstorming” can describe this better. Suddenly I became a philosopher, criticizing everything, and criticizing myself for criticizing. Mind loop or something. You might say that I was a psycho during that. My way of thinking was different compare to normal people, or beyond, couldn’t tell. I was thinking, is there an indelible line dividing sanity from insanity… Or do they change, one into the other at the slightest change of events?

I unlocked my phone, wanna have chat with my friends in the group. I never noticed they were so mean and toxic… Just like mortals. Guess my A.T field just got weakened, which makes me became more sensitive. I start to understand why sometimes my friend Owen was so sensitive. He was born like this, but the only way I can be sympathetic and emotionally sensitive is through drugs. “What kind of people I am.” I think.

It takes me some time to back to normal again, I didn’t sleep that night. It was a self-reflective and critical trip. but overthinking is horrible. I probably will do it again in the future, but not frequently. It can cure depression, don’t you doubt that.

Chinese version translated by DeepL:

我今天做了一个梦。在梦中，我和一个卷发的白人男子交谈，并服用蘑菇。他邀请我和他一起去杀某个人。这可能与《真探》有关–我最近看的一部HBO美剧。

几天前，我拿到了我的货，密封良好，真空包装。吃了大概3-4克，我开始看一些Ehentai上的图集，因为我希望它能在性方面有所作为，至少能让我变得更horny。但结果是，它使这些图片变得更加怪异。30分钟过去了，效果开始出现。那些二次元少女们–她们的发饰–正变得像眼睛。我开始注意到一些我以前没有注意到的东西。世界看起来很细致，一切都在扭曲。你有没有看过那些一帧一帧的人工智能生成的视频？原始视频的每一帧，它的每一帧都是由AI生成的，所以每一帧都不一样，但大体是一致的。我发现自己开始喜欢盯着什么东西看，就像人们说的，Stoner。

我在自慰。在它的中间，我有一个类似高潮的体验，它不是性的，而是精神的。那是精神上的高潮，由普西洛辛引起。当它到来时，我看到一些涟漪，像水一样。这是类似的东西。而且有大量的快乐到来。

在那一刻，一切都很有趣。我仍然意识到周围的环境，可能剂量不是太重。我笑了，因为我做了一些有趣的动作，也想了一些有趣的想法。事实上，在那一刻我对任何事情都能笑。

我一直盯着Telegram的聊天框，里面有一个非线性的空间。我低头看我的脚，我的血管变得越来越明显，就像它在我的皮肤表面。我的思想同时向八个方向发展，扩大它的领土。视觉停止了，但我无法帮助自己停止思考问题。没有什么词比 “头脑风暴 “能更好地描述这一点。突然间，我成了一个哲学家，批判一切，也批判自己的批判。心灵循环或什么的。你可以说我在这期间是个精神病患者。我的思维方式与正常人不同，或者超越了正常人，说不清楚。我在想，是否有一条不可磨灭的线来划分理智和精神错乱？还是他们会在最轻微的事件变化中变成另一个？

我打开手机，想和群里的朋友聊天。我从来没有注意到他们是如此刻薄和有毒… 就像凡人一样。我猜我的A.T立场被削弱了，这使我变得更加敏感。我开始理解为什么有时我的朋友Owen会如此敏感。他生来如此，但我唯一能有同情心和情感敏感的方式是通过药物。”我是什么样的人。” 我想。

我需要一些时间才能再次恢复正常，那天晚上我没有睡觉。这是一次自我反省和批判的旅行。但过度思考是可怕的。我将来可能还会这样做，但不会经常这样做。它可以治疗抑郁症，这一点你不要怀疑。